It’s All About Energy: Creating Energetic Stability and Flow in Your Life


Energy is nature’s natural moderating mechanism. We can’t see it, but we’re surrounded by an electromagnetic current of life. This dictates patterns of movement in the weather, in the changes of seasons, in our rest and hormonal cycles and also in our personal sense of well-being.

Animals sense when it is time to hibernate. Some follow the energy of nature on their annual migrations. They live with the rhythms and know when to spend their energy and when to restore it.

As humans, we are often called to follow the natural ebb and flow of energy in our lives. When we do this, we’re in flow. When we resist, we struggle. When we do what we are meant to do, and serve those we are meant to serve, we have endless energy.

But the problem is that most people consistently move against this energy. We experience resistance instead.

That happens when we move against the natural grain of life. In this sense, we move against the energetic currents that naturally charge us and give life to our creativity and that connects us with opportunities. These currents not only flow within us, what the Chinese call qi or the Hindus call prana, they also connect us to the rhythms of the earth and to each other.

When we are consistently resisting energizing experiences, we can feel like we carry the weight of a 100lb burden on our shoulders. We feel stuck and unfulfilled.

You Feel Stuck and Tired Because You Lack Energetic Stability

The truth is, energy is the driving force behind all that we do. Given that, it is surprising how disconnected we are to this source.

It’s what gives people and projects life. Have you ever met someone who is highly intelligent and impressive but they have no presence? Or someone who may be remarkably beautiful yet has no life or vitality?

And what about the people you know who at first glance seem like average individuals, unremarkable in most senses — but they have a big presence and it’s is absolutely contagious and delightful?

Each of us is given everything that we need to be incredibly creative and successful and fulfilled. We have a secret internal mechanism that allows us to not only figure out which decisions are best for us but also who to marry and what offers to accept and what foods are the most nourishing to us at that moment.

Can’t believe it? What is this amazing mechanism?

It’s our internal energy mechanism — and for many of us, it’s underutilized and underdeveloped and downright ignored.

Many of us go through life so depleted and so tired. We work within systems of our own design that work to drain us throughout the day. It’s like the energetic equivalent of slowly releasing the Hoover Dam.

Negative energy loss at the end of the day means serious issues when we look at the impact it has on our lives.

People come up to me and they tell me they can’t sleep at night, that they feel stuck in their careers, that they are trapped in mediocre relationships and they have no confidence in their leadership roles and even their dog hates them.

I hear this and I know: all roads point to energy loss.

The Role of Thoughts on Our Energy

Thoughts also drain energy. When I speak with or coach audiences, I often poll the room to see who is a worrier, an over-thinker, a past-decision re-liver, a “I should’ve said this instead-er” — nearly every hand goes up. Multiple times.

Also, if you are a woman, this could be even more relevant to you. It’s known that women think more than men. In fact, studies have shown that women need more sleep than men because they use so many different parts of their brain.

While it’s rather impressive that women are that powerful, it can also put us at a disadvantage.

In my opinion, one of the biggest reasons why the glass ceiling exists is because women overthink and under-act. This ultimately sets them up to be good workers and bad leaders.

In turn, that leads to lack of action — which leads to lack of confidence and vice versa. We’re too in our heads with energy-depleting worry that we don’t have much energy for taking risks.

This becomes a habit and a lifestyle. It keeps us drained and functioning at a fraction of our capabilities.

Your Negative Thoughts Prevent Energy Restoration and Flow

Our mind has finite sources of energy reserves that are only replenished by rest, glucose (food), and creative activities. When we turn the energy-draining thoughts up to full blast all day while doing work and answering emails and coordinating our schedules and creating meal plans on top of that — well, we’re pretty much not able to be creative or do things that take even an iota of extra courage, like speaking up in the boardroom.

Think about the thoughts you think of first thing in the morning: are they energy-giving or energy-draining?

Catch yourself during the middle of the day when you are thinking about your partner or your boss or your clients or your parents or the way that you look or dress. Do these thoughts give you energy or drain you?

Look at your calendar and notice how you feel and the thoughts that go through your mind when you do. Does it fill you with energy or suck you dry?

Chances are all these thoughts drain you. And you’re not alone. According to the Cleveland Clinic, over 80% of our habitual 60,000 thoughts a day are negative!

In the West, we have this deadly concoction of high stress and high cortisol levels coupled with advanced adrenal fatigue along with consistent energy draining negative thoughts and self-doubt. On top of that, there’s a pressure to stay busy and work ourselves to the bone — and a need to prove to others our talent and worth.

Not to mention, we experience a built-in tendency toward anxiety and depression thanks to our high-inflammation diets that include addictions to alcohol and sugar. Combine that with the high-stress exercises that further tax our bodies, and it’s an unpleasant picture.

No wonder most people are only a hair away from losing it.

What to Do to Replenish Your Energy and Get in Flow

Energetic stability and self-care is the foundation that our lives should be built on and the focus that we live for.

It enables us to be fully optimized in our existence, not only in terms of functionality but also in terms of personal magnetism and happiness.

The first step is to understand your internal environment.

Remember those 60,000+ thoughts, 80% of which are negative?

Identify your 3 most energy draining thoughts throughout the day.

If you find that your work is an overly negative environment, that would be a great place to begin. Ask yourself “When I think about work or about my boss or my salary, what thoughts come up?”

Note those thoughts.

Or, perhaps you have energy-draining attitudes toward your health.

Regardless of your actual state of health, your negative thoughts about it create stress which greatly suppresses your immune system and possibly hinders your ability for improvement.

Ask yourself “When I think about my health, what thoughts come up?”

Note those thoughts.

Then, make a commitment to not delve into those thoughts when they come up again. Choose more empowering thoughts that give you energy.

For example, rather than “my health is never improving” you can choose to think “I am getting better and better every day.”

Rather than thinking “my boss does not value my time” you may choose to think “I am the expert at choosing what to spend my time on.”

It’s not an easy path to reprogram your thoughts, but it is a one that makes all the difference in the world.

Janel Kiley